The fish-pun inscription on the vase reads:

This sympathy bouquet is scent in remembrance of the sole of Nancy Elaine Perkins Overall, who apparently had a [toilet] brush with death because of something she smelt. We were perched under the carport when we heard the news and just cod not believe it!! We really had to mullet over again and again, but still couldn't snapper out of it.   So, we signed up for grouper therapy--just for the halibut.  Our counselor didn't flounder around, and was very unshellfish in helping us flush out our filletings. He was really shark. (But, as an aside, we almost lost our herring when he serenaded us in his bass voice as he really can't carry a tuna and desperately need to practice his scales. It gave us both a migraine haddock to listen to him!)

Anyway, just clam up about the trafficking thing, OK??  Don't send the FBI to roughy us up--we really do feel shadly about the whole fish-in-the-mail thing. Plus, we like living here and wouldn't want to be forced to relocate to a newburgh.

Salmonly Yours,

The cloystered gills in D.C.
(a.k.a. Karen and Rebecca)


Contents of vase: 

A miniature fishing pole with a fish on the line, being held by a "hand"
Flowers (toilet brushes sprayed with "snow")
A miniature US Mail Delivery Truck